Wonderful Weekend

Hey! Remember that time I had a blog, and I was doing BEDA? Yeah, that was nice. Should have known that August was a terrible time for blogging every day! I should do that next summer when I mentor and only have to work for five hours a week. I digress! I started normal in the classroom work on Wednesday after all of the work related drama that occurred on Tuesday. I was a little freaked out but I knew my client a little bit, and one of my aunties teaches a class that my client is in, so I was confident that I would be okay. If there is one thing that always centers me it is my family, and it is nice to have that link this year.

Another thing that excites me about being with a client who is in seventh grade is that it gives me the opportunity to LEARN! That's right, I am a HUGE nerd and can't wait to actually start learning things. Most of the teachers are nice, but we're still trying to figure out classroom logistics. I'm simultaneously lucky and unlucky that my client is EXTREMELY quiet. It's nice because I don't have to interrupt class to redirect his behavior, but it is difficult to get him to actually talk to me. Honestly, this week he told me that he has trouble maintaining control of his temper and I almost passed out due to the fact that he ACTUALLY spoke!

So, like I said...no more work freak outs! However, I do have a funny work story. Last week I worked three days. On each of those days I was mistaken for a seventh grader. This is particularly funny to me because lately BFF1 and I have been struggling to adjust to the fact that we are getting older. Not like we're ancient or anything, but sometimes it's easy to forget that I'm a grown-up. So, it's nice to look young...but I don't think I want to be mistaken for a student much longer. I can handle college student, but not a middle school student! Blasted genetics for making me SO SHORT!!!

Long Days, Short Nights, and Unsettling Work Situations

Today has been the LONGEST day! I was up a little after six, when I could have slept until seven. I'm sure that tomorrow when I have to wake up early I will be sleeping like crazy. Then I went to our office to get files and to my new school to have a tour and meet the teachers that I will be working with during the school year. While I was at the school I found out that I basically have no clients. Which is an issue because with no clients I don't get paid. I called my boss to tell her what was going on and SHE freaked out. Let me tell you, if there is one thing that can make you feel completely terrified  it is your boss freaking out over your work situation. In the course of this day I have been moved all over our county, between multiple age groups, and with various numbers of clients. It wasn't until almost 4pm today that I even knew what school I would be going to in the morning. I have spent most of this day on the verge of a panic attack, reciting prime numbers and various lines from poems I love trying to calm down.

I know that I have freaked out about work a LOT on here recently, but it is REALLY scary to have no idea where you are going to be working. The kids we work with need stability, because most of them have never had it, and that makes me worry even more. However, I am in a set location now (one of the middle schools in our county) and even though I only have one client right now more will come in the next few weeks. Which means...no more freaking out on here! I hope. I really do love my job, it's just that there have been SO many uncertainties about this upcoming school year that it has been easy to forget that.

Everyone cross your fingers for me. I am a firm member of Team Hate Wednesday, and starting school on Wednesday just seems like bad news. But I will see one of my aunties tomorrow and I know the kid I am working with right now. Both of those are AWESOME for me. So I am looking forward to the day and being SUPER positive about everything!

A Principal Is Your PAL

First of all, I don't know who came up with that saying, but let me tell you, none of my principals were my "pal." Maybe that's just me though. Today I went to my new school to meet the principal I will work with this year and it was an odd experience to say the least. First of all, the principal's office is a scary place. Today I knew I wasn't in trouble, but just asking to speak to the principal was enough to put butterflies in my stomach. Best of all, she was at lunch so I didn't even get to meet her.

I did have the chance to meet the guidance counselor. If there is one place that is more unnerving than the principal's office it HAS to be the guidance counselors office. Today I sat in the guidance counselor's office with BFF1 and it was completely creepy. From the poster that assures people "everyone dies, even you" to the multitude of ponies that I (thankfully) didn't notice, the place was odd. The entire school was super quiet and that was unnerving in and of itself. Personally, I hate going to schools when kids aren't there. I always feel like I'm on the set of a horror film!

The absolute worst part of the day was that EVERYONE wanted to know who my clients were going to be, and I had to come up with a professional way to tell them that I don't HAVE clients yet. Because that isn't terrifying AT ALL! Knowing that on Wednesday I will walk into that building and have two to five client and I have NO IDEA who they even are. That isn't stressful IN THE LEAST!

Luckily school starts on Wednesday and once it does I will calm down immensely, until then I am still in full on panic mode!

Super Saturday

Last night was the last Friday before school starts, and I spent it with three of my cousins. We hung out, ate junk food, went night time swimming, and enjoyed one last night of freedom! It will be awhile (probably Thanksgiving) before they all stay here again, and I'll miss them when they're gone.

During the school year I stay busy with work stuff, but I also still spend plenty of time running around after kids. I frequently have random children in the afternoon or evening, and I usually end up helping with homework. Which is always hilarious when I have to do math...because as much as I love pi, prime numbers, and long division...I pretty much suck at math. Then Doda, Jerry, and The Clone all play sports, so my auntie and I are always going to games. My auntie's youngest daughter coaches volleyball so we go to most of those games as well. Needless to say I stay pretty busy during the school year.

But it's lonely. Over the summer my house is full of noise and kids and laughing. Once school starts my family is dispersed and we don't really see each other unless it is at Family Dinner Night or at Saturday Morning Breakfast. Which, I know some people don't see their family often. Heck, some of you probably think I'm insane because I miss the all consuming noise that comes with an extra large family* like mine. And honestly, more often than not I have moments when I am just thinking "For the love of all that is good and holy, PLEASE just be quiet!" But a lot of times I just sit around and bask in the wonderful insanity that surrounds me most of the time.

So next week we all go back to school. We are excited and nervous and unsure of where we will stand. I will read through Doda and The Clone's reading lists with them. I will proof read multiple papers. I will read aloud with Erin. I will struggle through math homework. I will make T-Shirts that say embarrassing things like "Chelle Loves #42" and go to games and scream at the top of my lungs. Most importantly, I will enter a school building and introduce myself to four tweens/teens that I have never set eyes on before and convince them that I am on their side, that I will help them get through the school year, and that they can trust me with their most terrifying secrets as well as their hopes for a brighter future. The first few weeks I can promise you I will be longing for math homework.

*There are thirty members in what we consider our immediate family. This is my grandmother, her five children and their spouses, her grandchildren and their spouses, and her four great-grandchildren.

In Which Chelle Fails BEDA

So, I didn't blog yesterday. I really meant to, but then I had to work. And honestly work, it was pretty stressful. I guess I should start with Wednesday and what happened then. After two days off everyone went back to work. BFF1 and I had spent Tuesday evening IMing and discussing the staff changes that had occurred over the summer. She revealed that one of our co-workers had gotten a new job, I told her that one of our high school classmates had been hired. So Wednesday (which we ALL know are generally sucktastic) was not really a day that I was looking forward to. Our bosses had labeled the day "Counselor Appreciation Day" and asked us to come in on Wednesday instead of giving us that day off, which was the original plan. BFF1 had an orthodontist appointment scheduled on Wednesday and had asked me to come with her so that I could drive back after they gave her drugs to adjust her retainer. So, here we were going in for two hours and then having to use our sick time on counselor appreciation day.*

I get to work at 8:30, a little tired and stuffy because my allergies were INSANE on Wednesday. Three of my co-workers were standing outside chatting when I got there, but as I walked up an eerie silence reigned. This should have been my first indication that something had gone down. I nervously said hello and waited with bated breath for the response. "Have you talked to Boss Lady?" asked one of my co-workers. I replied that I hadn't, at which point my co-worker replied "your name is on The Board** now." Immediately I was filled with dread. I knew my name would eventually be on The Board, but the tone of voice my co-worker used let me know that there was a pretty significant change in my work assignment. I walked inside our office to see BFF1 sitting at one of the tables and Boss Lady walking down the hall. Before I have a chance to look at The Board Boss Lady asks me if I'll come to her office to talk. I was thinking "crap, crap, crappity, crap, crap."

Once we get to Boss Lady's office she says "you may want to sit down for this." At this point*** my stomach dropped to about my ankles and I thought I was going to pass out. My boss quickly explained that one of my coworkers had accepted a new job and that another coworker was moving to a different school. This resulted in one of the middle schools in our area being left with no counselors. Therefore, I was going to be working with seventh grade boys. "Is that okay" she asks. Now I don't know about you guys, but there is no part of me that feels comfortable being like "actually, I don't know that I want to work with middle schoolers, I like the little kids, they don't call me a bitch, and if one of them hits me it isn't really going to hurt THAT much." I'm generally the kind of person who does what needs to be done. So I smiled, told my boss that I was looking forward to a new challenge, and that I was glad they had confidence in my ability to handle this age group. Which is true. To an extent.

Now, for the more truthful reaction. I was sad, I loved the school I was at last year, I liked the teachers, and I was pretty good friends with one of my co-workers at that school. I like middle schoolers, and honestly I feel like a lot of times they get labeled as "problem kids" or "troublemakers" and just shuffled aside, so I am happy to try to make their experiences better in any way that I can. However, I am still terrified. I mean honestly, I'm all of five feet tall! Last year I got lost in a crowd of fifth graders at the elementary school I worked at. Some of these kids are physically violent, and I worry about having to wade into the middle of a fist fight. I really am looking forward to having a new experience. I really enjoyed working with the middle school age group over the summer and I think that I made some headway with several of them. I am pleased that my boss thinks I am good enough at what I do to send me to a school where I will essentially be alone**** with kids that no one in our program has ever seen. In some ways it is nice to work with clients who have never had services, but in others it is hard because they don't really know what to expect.

So, in a nutshell...I am going into a new school, I have new kids, I have new a co-worker, and I have to get used to a new system. I'm much more settled today than I was Wednesday though. On Wednesday I thought I was going to have a panic attack or curl up in a ball and cry. Today I am genuinely looking forward to a new challenge. I'm excited, but still a little freaked out. I'm sure that in the new few weeks there will be plenty of freak out moments, because if we're honest, change isn't always fun.



*Luckily my boss told us yesterday that we didn't have to use sick time and that we could count ourselves present for the entire day! Now, THAT is counselor appreciation!
**The Board is like a matrix with all of our schools listed on it, which counselor is at which school, how many clients each counselor has, and how many referrals are at each school. The Board also has due dates for various reports, meetings, training days, etc.
***Let me just say, for all you corporate executives who read this blog...never preface a non-firing session with "you may want to sit down."
****There will be another counselor at the school with me, but she has never worked in a middle school either. Also, there is no one working at that school who was previously there from our corporation. We are pretty much starting over from scratch.

Hello Again

Almost four months! I can't believe I've gone so long without posting. Actually, I can but I'm not proud of that. Not many things have happened in the past few months. I settled in to my new job, have read hardly any books, and just spent time with my family. I spend most of my free time with my cousins or one of my two best friends. I don't know why reading has been such a hassle for me lately. I love books more than anything in the world, but honestly I haven't had the attention span to read anything. I've started probably fifteen books and put them down without reading them. I did manage to finish Will Grayson/Will Grayson. It was wonderful, but what did I expect from a book written by John Green AND David Levithan? A lot of people on Twitter, Facebook, on blogs, and in real life have said WG/WG was their favorite John Green book. I can't say that is the case for me. Paper Towns remains my favorite John Green book, with Looking for Alaska coming in a VERY close second. The idea of how our misconceptions of others that Paper Towns deals with is a subject that speaks to be, and the realizations that Q makes on his journey in Paper Towns are ones that we should all be aware of. I plan on re-reading PT soon, so perhaps I will do a blog post outlining all of my thoughts and feelings about it then.

In other John Green book news, I am currently working through the summer at a day camp of sorts that my corporation sponsors for our clients, and I recently did a bibliotherapy session based on Looking for Alaska. I have to say that I was worried about how seriously a group of boys with behavioral issues whose ages range from ages 11-17 would respond to Alaska. However, I was pleasantly surprised. I didn't have anyone make crude comments about Pudge's love for Alaska, no one laughed when my voice cracked as I was reading, and everyone was able to discuss how overwhelmingly difficult it is to lose someone that you love. Moments like the one I had on Wednesday remind me why I left my job at the library and instead embarked on a journey with these kids. Although I was happy and content to spend my life surrounded by books and people who loved them, there was more in store for me. I now have the opportunity to impact the lives of children, to help them realize that one bad choice does not have to equal a lifetime of bad choices, and to show them that someone believes that they too are destined for greatness. Yes, I miss the library, and I miss talking to teenagers who absolutely love books, but seeing a kid who has lost all hope regain a little bit of it is so much more worthwhile.

Now that I have been sappy and made excuses, I hope that I don't stay gone so long in the future. =]