Monday, June 25, 2012

Vacation Round-Up

I have returned (very late Friday night) from an impromptu trip to the beach with some of my cousins.* To sum up the list of characters: my cousin Jo and her husband Todd along with their kids A and Doodle, my cousin Ryan and his wife Terry and their kid Baby Cash, and my cousin Doda. And me of course! I've struggled recently with family discussed in my last post things with my mom have been weighing on my mind a lot lately and I don't really have the chance to really deal with those feelings. I live with my grandmother (my mom's mom) and any mention of my mother really upsets her, so I try to avoid any mentions at home. I obviously don't want to upset my dad by talking about things a lot. And truthfully I just hate focusing on everything, even if talking it out probably would help me deal with things. Usually I just work around my frustrations and focus negative energy into positive things to distract myself.

ANYWAY, the point is, I had the opportunity to tag along on my cousins' family vacation. It's been roughly six years since I've been to the beach and I've missed the experience. Mostly though I just enjoyed being away from my troubles. I spent a week reading in the sun, playing with the baby cousins, and hanging out with my older cousins. I ate good food and had a few drinks. I played in the ocean and allowed myself to be in awe of the greatness of creation. I watched dolphins swim in the ocean and went to the aquarium. Basically, I lived free for the week. I set down my burdens and relaxed. And it was the best time I've had in such a long time.

I'm truly grateful for my family. I realize I focus on them a lot, both here and on Twitter, but that's because I've committed myself to surrounding myself with people who love me and that I love. Family is a sure fired way to do that. They have seen me at my very worst and have loved me through it all, and the same is true for them. Sometimes they drive me crazy, and I'm sure that I grate on their nerves at time. I don't always fit in...I'm not sporty and I my idea of an outdoor activity is reading in the shade**, but I'm accepted in spite of my oddities. And when things are gross and bad and I need somewhere to hide out, I always have a place...or ten. And there will never be a way for me to express how blessed I am to have this group of people tied to me indefinitely.

*Honestly, I should make a tab just to keep track of my relatives!
**We won't even get into my crazy liberal ideas.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

BFF Antics

Earlier this week my grandmother had an appointment with her endocrinologist and I volunteered to drive her to Roanoke for her appointment. This was not the best choice I've ever made. Two of my aunties came along and we planned to meet BFF1 for lunch and some shopping afterwards since my grandmother's appointment was in the town where she currently lives. This didn't work out as planned because even though we left on time we also ran into a wreck on the interstate and were almost late for the appointment. This frustrated one of my aunts. The other was upset because she had things to do at home and wasn't excited about a day spent shopping. I ignored the overwhelming silence in my car on the ride to Roanoke and tried to make the best of the situation. A feat made easier because my bestie is used to these dramatics and when she met us at the doctor's office she helped distract me from the uneasiness. We spent our time in the waiting room sitting side by side playing DrawSomething with each other and laughing at how terrible we are at the game and chatting about various things. After the doctor we went to lunch at a pizza bar, and that was AMAZING and tasty. After lunch we embarked on Speed Shopping. Literally. I went through Target at a jog, grabbing random items that were on my shopping list so that we could GET OUT IN A HURRY!!! I needed to buy a pair of jeans, but didn't have time to try on. I'm not so upset about THAT...I absolutely HATE trying on pants.*

During the awkward lunch and doctor's visit and all through Speed Shopping BFF1 and I chatted about various difficulties we have dealt with recently. We had been out to lunch the previous day since she was in my town (her hometown) which ended with me almost in tears over my cheese fries. I know, right! Why are there tears if cheese fries are present?! Turns out that even after six months, conversations centering around my mother can cause emotional turmoil. I'm blessed because BFF1 handled it like a CHAMP! So we revisited my emotional breakdown the previous day and also talked about how she is sometimes uncomfortable in the area she currently lives and also about how we just miss each other. She only lives about an hour and a half away now, but that's a big adjustment since she had previously lived 15 minutes away from me since we were in fifth grade. We have adjusted well, but things are a lot different and sometimes it is really hard to be far apart. We talk to each other constantly throughout the day and we have a group of shows that we "watch" together while texting comments about the content, but the time we spend together via phone or computer dwindles during the summer. To counteract that we have started a "book club." It's not really much of a book club with just the two of us, but we're testing the waters for now. If we enjoy it and are successful we may expand and include some of our other friends.** For now we're slogging through Hissy Fit by Mary Kay Andrews, and when we've finished I'll update this with our progress/success. Hopefully it will be a fun activity to share. I love reading and she doesn't read many novels, but we both love funny girls and The South so MKA was a good starting point for us. Mainly I'm looking forward to sharing an activity with someone I adore, that I miss on an almost daily basis.

I have to say...I have mad respect for you guys that move away from your childhood friends and your families. Perhaps you are better at making friends than I am, maybe you're just braver...but I get absolutely verklempt whenever I think about leaving this tiny place that has been my home for 28 years.

*Or shirts, or dresses, or basically anything. It sucks.
**Who are we kidding, we don't actually have that many friends...hence the two man book club.