Ramblings

It's been quite some time since I last blogged. I always WANT to blog, but life tends to get in the way. Not exciting things by any means, just mundane normal things. Things like work, books, my family, etc. I did lose internet service for several days at the beginning of the week, and THAT was pretty stressful. It has also taken a lot of time to get caught up on all of the things that I do on the internet. I had to forgo catching up on most of the blogs I read, just because there is so little time. I also had to play catch up at work because I submit all of my paperwork online.

Moving right along! Let's get back to my desire to blog. Here is the problem I have. I never know WHAT to write about. I mean I can ramble incoherently for HOURS if need be, but I feel like that's what Twitter is for. I sometimes touch on movies, TV shows, and books that I have loved; but I'm not always awesome at reviewing things. When it comes to review I do one of two things. I either retell the story in so much detail that you don't need to read the book or watch the show/movie.or I can't find words to describe how the book/movie/show affected me. I get kind of lost in translation. Not that I won't review things, I certainly will. But when I do it's more of a "hey friend, let me tell you about this awesome/awful thing I read/saw." I have an entire blog with BFF1 that is devoted to fashion and beauty, so I try to save those posts so that I have subject matter for that blog.

The biggest problem I think is that I want to be amazing and interesting and compelling, and a lot of times I don't feel any of those things. There are times when I am on top of the world, but a vast majority of the time I just feel ordinary. I don't want this to be boring. No "I did this, and then I went there, and I met her." I don't want this to be a bitch session, although there are times that I need to vent my frustrations to the world at large. I don't know what I want this to BE. An expression of who I am, all of the good and the bad. The eloquent and the ZOMG SQUEE!!! I am complex and far from ordinary, even if I feel ordinary a lot of the time. Mainly I don't want you to be bored! I am relatively entertaining, but it doesn't always translate into text.

In other less "woe is me" news, I have realized in the past week what an impact I have on the youth in my area, and it TERRIFIES me. I am surrounded by a hundred seventh graders every day and the more time that passes the more I understand how much the look to me for an example. In the last week I have expressed my views on labels for individuals, standing against society's norms, and being yourself. I have discussed why you should be a patriot and celebrate our country every day as opposed to on one day that is widely observed. I have discussed books that I love with kids who are just now falling in love with books and reading. I have to remind myself each day that just because I only work with a few kids in that school, my presence affects each tween/teen I come in contact with. It is a huge responsibility, but it is a huge honor to know I make them think about the beliefs that they are just now starting to form. They look at the world through fresh eyes, but so many of them will be tainted by how others see the world that they will have trouble forming their own views. I'm glad I get the chance to broaden their horizons. That is my Silver Lining for this day.